Tuesday, May 27, 2008

So, where does it stop?

The Nannies of Queensland are banning smoking in cars with kids, with on the spot fines of $150 if you smoke in the car with a child under the age of 16.

So, when will they start banning smoking in your own home? Eating greasy foods? Chocolate? Where will it end?

My father used to smoke in the car when my brother and I were kids... and when mum was little (oh, wait, she's still little, maybe it did effect her!). It never had any effect on us... koff koff koff.

I smoked from about, er, teens to the age of 32, but stopped because the husband to be didn't smoke, I couldn't smoke at work, and cigs were nearly $2 a packet.

I don't care if people smoke in the street, it's their lungs. I prefer not to eat when someone's smoking - I never used to smoke and eat at the same time (drink, yeah, but not eat).

Many years ago I was taken to see Reg Livermore in Betty Blokk Buster Follies. I loved the show! He sang a song called the tobacco song which I thought was so funny. I can't find it performed to share with you, but apparently Miriam Karlin (Rag Trade, loved that show), sang it. Here are the lyrics:


Tobacco, Tobacco, I hate you, I do
Like Venus I'd look if it wasn't for you
But I'll give up the habit, I will even yet
When I've had just one more cigarette.

It was not the whisky, it was not the wine
That made such a wreck of this body of mine
But I'll give up the habit I will even yet
When I've had just one more cigarette.

Under my eyes are a couple of bags
I blame it all on to a packet of fags
But I'll give up the habit, I will even yet ,
When I've had just one more cigarette

My teeth are all yellow and so is my tongue
I breathe through a kipper, I call it a lung
But I'll give up the habit, I will even yet,
When I've had just one more cigarette

Nail in my coffin, so pale and so thin,
I am a fool to keep knocking you in
You say that you'll kill me, how much do you bet
When I've had just one more cigarette

I'll fling the packet away, away,
Fifty times in a week I say,
Fling the packet away away,
When I've had just one more cigarette.

I may add to this later.

Oh, here's another one I found, but again, no performance of the song:

(Peter Ross / Hamish Imlach)
Now I'm a social outcast
A modern-day refugee
Joy turns to gloom when I walk into a room
They all turn their back upon me
I'm not a thug or a mugger
I've not murdered anyone yet
But you would think I was Charles bloody Manson
When I light up a cigarette

Some folk get their kicks from alcohol
Some stuff their nose with cocaine
Some folk like knocking old women about
Some like tae batter their weans
There's masochists, sadists or rapists
Folk that like dressing in drag
I'm no' like them, that's no' my game
Gimme peace just to light one more fag

You can snuff it doing too much exercise
You can snuff it not doing enough
You can snuff it by eating too little
You know, you can snuff it eating too much
You can snuff it staying out late at night
You can snuff it lying in your bed
So my way of snuffing is to keep right on puffing
It's on my own bloody head

Spare a thought for all the smokers
Doing their bit for the Crown
Remember when a smoker lights up
He's keeping your income tax down

Yes he is
He's keeping your income tax down

This is where I found the words for these songs.


Minicapt said...



kae said...


Minicapt said...

And now for something completely different: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S2eJg8GOiM


Margo's Maid said...

aha kae, sounds like the tobacco industry got to you, too.

stackja1945 said...

kae, Prohibition works just remember Al Capone.
JMH, Burn afterburner burn. Tanks for the memory, one flat Volvo.

Anonymous said...

This new intrusion into our daily lives by the State is more of the same from our Luvvlies in Brisbane. Too many bureaucrats with too little to do and having to create new laws to protect us from ourselves. Just so they can keep themselves occupied and feel the false warmness of helping society to be a better place.

We are a really soft nation when we have little to no anger in the media about these apprentice fascists. Mehaul

stackja1945 said...

The media is where these apprentice fascists come from.

Anonymous said...

People and things this American has never heard of before:

- Reg Livermore
- Betty Blokk Buster Follies
- Miriam Karlin
- Rag Trade

They sound fun.


kae said...

Miriam Karlin was an actress in the British comedy "The Rag Trade".
She always had a smoke (fag) hanging out of her mouth and was the shop steward (union rep) in the factory. She used to blow the whistle and shout "Everybody out" when the boss would snivel around trying to catch them doing something they shouldn't on the shop floor.
It's not/sometimes/maybe available from Amazon.
Bugger this links in the comments thingbastard.
Miriam Karlin is the brunette on the left of the video cover.
Here's a synopsis of the programme:

kae said...

Reg Livermore, Betty Blokk Buster Follies:
I'm sure someone will tell me how to do links in this thingy.
Taa in anticipation.

Skeeter said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Skeeter said...

My suggestion does not work.
Please erase my name from the comment above so people don't think badly of me.