We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity,Looking for another joke I found this site. (warning, big girl with a gun and not much else...) Scroll down to: "Agenda vir 'n blerrie mooi BRAAI!"
as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the BBQ - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE BBQ.
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE BBQ AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
I can get most of it, but if anyone can translate from the Afrikaans slang I'd appreciate it. Taa.
Saturday: 05:00: Throw 2 bags of charka, January through March's Expresses and a half a box of Blitz in the drum, and light the mofo - for a good solid braai foundation..
05:35: Open 1 bottle of Klippies and one 2lt Coke.
06:15: Mutter to yourself that you're sure they're making the Klippies bottles smaller these days, and crack open a beer.
06:20: Go check that no one stole the meat from under your carport during the night.
06:45: Sms your mates to tell them "Today's going to be a fo$%en jol china!!"
06:55: Explain to your mom that you accidentally sms'ed her and that you would never swear at her.