Friday, August 29, 2008

Holiday/fishing joke

A bloke was holidaying on the Australian coast. His wife went out for a swim and didn’t come back.
She was missing for a few days. He was understandably distraught.
Some days later the police turned up at his motel door. The old sarge said to him, “This isn’t easy, but I have bad news, good news and very good news for you.”
The holidaymaker said to the sarge “Well, you’d better give it to me straight. What’s the bad news?”
“Well,” said the sarge. “We found your wife, she was wedged in a crevice quite deep. My young constable here recovered her. We’re very sorry.”
“I see. So, what’s the good news?”
“Where she was wedged there’s some really good crays and crabs. Some got caught in her swimming costume and when we pulled her up we got quite a haul. We’ve divvied them up and here’s your share.” He handed the holiday maker a hessian bag full of crays and crabs.
“Oh, thanks. So, what’s the very good news?”
“Well, we wondered what you were doing about eleven o’clock tomorrow, we thought you’d like to come with us, we’re pulling her up again....”


Anonymous said...

Kae that's a shocker. Very funny though. Mehaul

Aussie Old Fart said...

On the subject of women,I give you-----

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"

Regards Bill

Skeeter said...

Bill, I printed your joke and was going to leave it on Mrs Skeeter's desk.
But I changed my mind. I decided that, after 50 years of marriage, I am better off not knowing what she is thinking.

Aussie Old Fart said...

Skeeter, go onnn,live dangerous,you've had a good innings.

Women are funny cattle,some have a wicked twisted sense of humour,some have none at all.

I bit the bullet and ran it past cookie,and I reckon I got of light. Only copped a clip under the ear as she went past.

As you say,maybe best not to know. Hmmm. Me,so long as my ass points to the ground I will never fully understand them. Cookie however,had me sussed out and my gonads in her purse very early on.Lucky for me. (glances over shoulder quickly,gotta go)

Regards Bill