Sunday, May 25, 2008

Getting old.

When I was a teenager I thought about how old I would be at the turn of the century. That was about the only thing I thought about way off in the future. My main thought was that I would be 42.

Forty-two. Gee, that was old when I was only a teenager. I really didn’t have any other thoughts about the future or where I would be or what I would be doing. The farthest thing from my mind was turning 50 eight years after the turn of the century.

And here I am. About to turn 50.

The main problem with getting older is that as time passes, well, no, I’ll have to stop that thought right there. As you get older it seems the wheels of time roll right over the top of you. That’s the only way I can explain it. It usually starts after 40, when only half your bits work, and the other half hurt. First the plumbing/reproductive systems start acting up. That’s really annoying.

As time progresses you notice that gravity is having more and more of an effect on your dangly/bouncy/bumpy bits. And then there’s the 'added bits' er, appreciation, which seems to have an effect on your size and shape, and the bouncing of the bouncy bits, which often stop bouncing and just become saggy bits. And even bits which shouldn’t dangle, bounce or sag just do. Thanks Mr Newton and the collapse of collagen (I think).

Then there’s the hair. Hair is never really lost*, it just redistributes itself around the body. If you’re a man, in the ears and nose – and if you’re like my brother, it migrates off the top of your head to the ears and nose as well as to the back and shoulders. If you’re a woman you find hair appearing in places that you just don’t want it. Like the fence posts that stick out of your chin. And then there's the thinning of the crowning glory.

It’s not pretty Marjorie, I tell you.

I don’t mind getting old, it’s better than the alternative. But I regret wasting my youth. I never knew I had it so good. Youth is wasted on the young.

Hey, there's an upside to getting older. Once I would have been called a foolish youth. Now I can be classed as eccentric. Hurrah!

And when I get up the gumption, I will be able to tell people what I think of them. I have the weight of years behind me.

* Hair is like weight. Weight is never really lost. It just redistributes itself around the universe.


stackja1945 said...

Kae, you are not eccentric but are definitely an individualist. Good on you for that.

Nic said...

A good post Kae. You still have your youth. You have the time and resources to still do many of the things you've always wanted. Go for it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kae

All these Blairite blogs - like Tim's babies thrown out of the nest :-)

LOL! I can relate to your post - bloody chin hairs!

Good on you for starting your own blog


Minicapt said...




Francis H said...

Congrats on the new blog Kae. Must say that it'll take more time getting around with everyone in different digs now but looks like could be fun.

And I see in the last thread you gained yourself your first troll. Good work.

RebeccaH said...

I feel your pain, kae. Actually, I felt it about twelve years ago. But I'm determined to hang on tooth and claw, and go out screaming, so do thou likewise.

kae said...

Hi Guys

Rebeccah, just tell me it gets better.
If it doesn't, keep mum, OK?


missred said...

great post, kae.
i am sure a lot of us think the same thoughts..
when my daugter took me out for mothers day she commented that i was eccentric and hoped she would never be so when she got "old"

Anonymous said...

Gee, I don't know what you're talking about, Kae. I get craggier and more dignified with every passing year. At last I have those decorative facial creases I always wanted. And those bygone bulging muscles were too much work to maintain - it's much easier now.


kae said...

pfft Lyle, I know you're just beautiful, crag and all.

kae said...

Oh, and Lyle,
1. when are you getting that book together?
2. you're welcome to write limericks and stuff for here... I'd love it!
Anything that takes your fancy!

lyle said...


I would still like to do a children's story in simple verse - a bunch of talking animals looking for buried treasure. And the treasure turns out to be....

Well, I haven't figured that out yet. The fact is, we don't all treasure the same things. This treasure would be without value to every animal but one.

kae said...

What's stopping you?

Oh, the end of the story....

Well, a book of limericks/poems with a bit of background for each would be good.

I know you've got all the time in the world to mess around doing that.

Don't we all!

lyle said...


My topical poems are gone with the wind. Only a few could stand without footnotes.

I would like to do something with a longer shelf-life, something funny but with a point. If I know what the treasure is, I know what the story is.

Anonymous said...

Kae. Don't waste too much time worrying about the passing of it. We're all beautiful. Even mildly obese me. Well my daughter thinks so. I pay her daily to remind me.

Crossie said...

Nice blog Kae. Keep on keeping on.

I find that with advancing age the hardest thing is struggling with pantyhose.

Andrea said...

Hey! Happy Birthday!

kae said...

Anonymous, thanks. I don't have kids to pay to say nice things to me. Oops!
Anyone posting as Anonymous, please leave a nic or name so we know who you are!
Thanks Crossie & Andrea.
Lyle, I want results not excuses.

Anonymous said...

If you see Mildly Obese think Mehaul. Mehaul

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but getting older is fun because you get to be a groovey old lady and can say whatever you like, whenever you like and everyone has to be polite because you are old!

I like your blog - it is not right of centre at all!!!!!!!!

kae said...

Hello Anonymous.
That'd be DN who I told about the blog today!
Glad you like it.
See you at the asylum, er, special skool.