Thursday, January 22, 2009

Important questions

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
1. His mates waxed his face when he was head down in a pizza early one morning, after a State of Origin game. Tarzan is a Queenslander.

2. He wishes to disassociate himself from all things Muslim after he saw what the Taliban did to several girls schools in Afghanistan. Tarzan is a Queenslander interested in young female education in Afghanistan. (Mehaul)



Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Sounds silly doesn't it?

But skeeter as a former? fellow pilot probably would agree with me, a lot of things can go wrong in a cockpit before you reach your target.
So why risk it?
(not to mention that the earphones were an integral part of the helmet)
Orion - and silly me thought it was so he didn't bump his head getting into the plane!


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
Thome thupid thit. Kae

What is the speed of darkness?
Backward? Kae

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If we are talking degrees C, I reckon twice as cold as zero will be -136.5° Centigrade, or +136.5° Kelvin. If we are talking degrees C, I reckon twice as cold as zero will be -136.5° Centigrade, or +136.5° Kelvin. Skeeter

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
to get rid of their loose change.

To see if their partner's playing up.

To check out the cats at the back of the Chinese restaurant.

Because it was there.

To get at it before the vandals broke it.
Mehaul


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze These pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
A: Teenagers won't look in a freezer for food,
B: noone looks in the freezer for food in the middle of the night.
Kae

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

You can't just post those questions and leave us all dangling. You owe it to all of us to tell us the answers. Mehaul.

kae said...

I have provided a few answers, if you can give me more I'd appreciate it!

Anonymous said...

Tarzan doesn't have a beard because:

1. His mates waxed his face when he was head down in a pizza early one morning, after a State of Origin game. Tarzan is a Queenslander.

2. He wishes to disassociate himself from all things Muslim after he saw what the Taliban did to several girls schools in Afghanistan. Tarzan is a Queenslander interested in young female education in Afghanistan.

Mehaul.

Anonymous said...

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Sounds silly doesn't it?

But skeeter as a former? fellow pilot probably would agree with me, a lot of things can go wrong in a cockpit before you reach your target.
So why risk it?
(not to mention that the earphones were an integral part of the helmet)

Orion

Anonymous said...

Why do people go up tall buildings and then look through the binoculars.....

to get rid of their loose change.

To see if their partner's playing up.

To check out the cats at the back of the Chinese restaurant.

Because it was there.

To get at it before the vandals broke it.

Mehaul.

Skeeter said...

Very true, Orion (my favourite constellation by the way, and you are right about "former"). Those leather helmets — like the one I'm wearing in my avatar — were used to keep your ears warm in open cockpits and were never intended to save your brains from concussion. We were first issued with hats, hard, high-speed electric, in the 1950s with the advent of jets.

Skeeter said...

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If we are talking degrees C, I reckon twice as cold as zero will be -136.5° Centigrade, or +136.5° Kelvin.

Skeeter said...

My dog never got mad at me when I blew in its face.
Maybe you have an oral hygiene problem.

Kaboom said...

Goofy is NOT a dog.

Goofy is a ...... Goofy!

Goofy talks. Pluto don't.

Pluto fetches. Goofy don't.

See? Goofy is Goofy. Pluto dog.

Dino is a dinosaur that acts like Pluto. Dino not dog. Dino dinosaur.

Scooby Doo (a) talks - after a fashion, and (b) fetches.

Is Scooby Doo a dog, or a Goofy?

Oh, the humidity!

Kaboom said...

I NEVER blow in a dog's face.

That would be just rude, not to mention exposing yourself to injury......

Anonymous said...

The speed of darkness, is the time it takes Obama to go from Madam Lee's ultra hot chicken curry to the loo. Mehaul.

Anonymous said...

Do illiterate people, alphabet soup....only if they're trained in braille and have sensitive condoms on their fingers. Mehaul.

Egg said...

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Nope; nor does the 'Close Doors' button, IIRC.