Scandalous things have been happening in the world which have come to my attention.
The shocking fact is that Max Markson's ex lover who he apparently left pregnant is half his age! My goodness. That would make her, um, well he's about my age, so she'd be about 27 or so. Golly! Isn't 27 old enough to make decisions about who you are going to sleep with? It's certainly old enough to know about contraception.
Another shock revelation, Hugh Grant (ick) has a pregnant girlfriend who is 19 years his junior - hello? That makes her about, oh, 32 - he was born in 1960!
Then there's Rod Stewart, Paul McCartney and heaps of others who seem not to be the target of these silly statements.